This one or that one? US anthropologist Helen Fisher reveals how we pick our partners.
As a biological anthropologist, I’ve spent 30 years trying to understand human nature—what love is; why we marry, divorce, and remarry; and why we choose the partners that we do.
I began to think that we have a biological pull to certain people. I developed a questionnaire designed to measure personality traits associated with certain hormones.
> Dopamine-rich people, whom I call Explorers, tend to be highly curious and creative. They love novelty and risks and tend to be spontaneous, energetic, and flexible.
> The serotonin-rich Builder is social, fond of rules and facts, cautious but not fearful, and very good at managing people and building community.
> Directors express testosterone traits—they’re decisive, analytical, tough-minded, and competitive and understand “rule-based systems,” from mechanics to music.
> Negotiators, the high-oestrogen type, see the big picture. They’re imaginative, intuitive, nurturing, and good with words and people.
We are all a mix of all four personalities, but most of us express predominantly two. I’m predominantly an Explorer and Negotiator.
Working with the Internet dating site chemistry.com, I tested seven million people in 40 countries. When I looked at whom men and women chose to meet, I found nature’s patterns: Explorers tend to gravitate towards Explorers. Builders gravitate to Builders. But Directors go for Negotiators, and Negotiators are attracted to Directors. We can override biology, but nature plays a role in whom we love. These days, as both sexes are freer to choose partners for themselves, we are entering an age when love can truly bloom.Courtesy: RD
